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1-minute Messy Meditations

For work, my colleague and I are working on a well-produced audio-based guided meditation to share around for the new year. As I’ve been exploring the web for examples, I noticed how calm, careful and controlled they are _ every single one. Great enunciation, clear audio, quiet rooms, nice music, controlled breathing.

It made me wonder: what would a guided reflection or audio meditation be like if the narrator was improvising, the audio was terrible, the room was loud, and it was wildly not-calm-at-all? In my dream version, the meditation has the narrator breathing loudly into the microphone, losing track of his words, interrupting himself to yell at his kids, swearing as he drops something, and failing to complete the meditation. I’m picturing a Zach Galifianakis character attempting to pull off the guru vibe, but unable to get past his own internal hangups.

Because really, that’s me. A messy man with a full mind and a noisy living room, trying to eke out some peace.

I pulled out my iPhone and decided to try to the art of the Messy Meditation right then and there. Here’s how it ended up:

Not long after that, my daughter Rosie wasn’t really going to bed — she was chatting in her little 18-month-old voice, wandering around her bedroom, and clearly not sleeping. I thought: perfect. What she needs is a slightly satirical Messy Meditation. Here’s how that one went:

I’m finding it a lovely juxtaposition. Next time I notice wildly noisy environments, I’m making it my mission to pull out Voice Memos and see how brief, unprofessional, un-calm and un-scripted we can make these.

 

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